Just thoughts

In side my teeny weeny room at Karawenelle, I  am peering  at the screen of my lap top. Soft rays of yellow trickle in through the lattice of my window and try unsuccessfully to compete with the bright glare of my laptop.The crisscross pattern of the lattice projects on to the wall beside me and creates the illusion of a huge wall paper of an intricate pattern.The pitter patter made by my fingers running here and there on the key board is the only sound inside the room , except may be the soft sound of my breathing, if I really stop and make an effort to hear it.In and out In and out.
occasionally a door opens in the vicinity and closes with a muffled thud,spaced by the sounds of footsteps: a house officer coming out of his or her room for a vital purpose, like collecting the dinner, brushing before going to bed. I am soaked up in a comfy layer of solitude.

If I turn my neck I can see the dim light outside my room, which improvises the soft moonlight seeping through my lattice. If I give my fingers a break and lean back on my bed, I can hear the funny fast beat of some Tamil song and then rackety rickety noise of the Night koththu boutique across the road. I can hear the three wheelers rumbling by,an Inter-city  bus squealing on its brakes as the drive turns at our bend.I might even hear the slang words used by some construction workers on the other side of the road weary after the days work. If i was outside,  the noises could have made me uneasy I guess. But inside this safe cocoon of mine I can focus on words flowing though my mind through my finger tips and on to the glaring white screen. I can even at times close my eyes and imagine that I am  home, In my solitude and peace.
When you are met with challenges , choices your are forced to make, you never adapt to the present, you just improvise , so that the present appears like your favorite dream of the past.

Internally displaced.

When some one asked me what my hometown was I had this few moments of confusion always in choosing a correct answer .In fact I used to say I was an IDP- an internally displaced person.
 I was born in Matara where I attended school for thirteen years.For those thirteen years it was my kingdom. Then I came to Peradeniya for my higher studies and spent another nine years there, and the hostels and the magnificent city became home way from home. In fact during this period my parents relocated to Colombo, but as I was an honorary guest for those first nine years, somehow it slipped from every one's mind to allocate a place for me in our new home. As a  result of which I sleep with my mother's adopted kid( the four legged one) each night in a bed which she thinks is hers while I think its mine. It has been OK up to now, since I have only suffered some minor bites and she none , sadly).
So when I got my post Intern appointment to Karawanella ,thoroughly misunderstanding the situation of course became a "Kabalen Lipata" type one.I was hoping to travel from home each day, which of course could have not been a happy dream, if our public transport system had not decided to travel at a speed of a tortoise( may be much slower when in comes to 122 Awissawella- Pettah). So since I am whining daily about the hardships in travelling, I am now the lucky owner of a wee little Quarters at BH karawanella.It is a cosy little place, the only problem been the heat and dust which engulfs me the moment I open a door or a window, punctuated by occasional water shortages.So I have begun to live the life a gypsy, half my stuff here, half my stuff there.It is only when I arrive at a certain place of the two I realise I have a left a vital part like my toothbrush at the other place( as a result of which I have a huge collection of toothbrushes but not unbrushed teeth).I have given up the idea of bringing my laptop home, and instead take the option of becoming a pain in the you know where of my poor brother.I wear the same kit daily for weeks(washed daily of course) so that is looks like my uniform.
Life indeed seems to be so fun. Now who misinformed me that an IDP has to live a hard life

Changing

කාලෙකින්  ෆැකල්ටි එක පැත්තෙ රවුමක් ගැහුවා. මම Internඑක පේරාදෙනියෙ කරන්න හිතා ගත්ත එක හේතුවක් තමයි ෆැකල්ටි එක අල්ලපු වත්තෙ තියෙන එක. ඒත් දැන් ෆැකල්ටි යැවෙන්නෙ හාවා හඳ දකින්න වගේ.ෆැකල්ටි එක වටේටම අලුත් මූනු. අලුත් අයිතිකාරයො අස්සේ නාකි මට හැප්පෙන්න බැහැ කියල හිතෙනවා.කැන්ටිමට යන පාරේ තිබ්බ ලොකු ගහ කපපු දවසෙ මම හිතා ගත්තා උවමනාවකට මිසක් ආයෙ ෆැකල්ටි එක පැත්තෙ යන්නෙ නැහැ කියල.බිල්ඩින් හැදෙන්න ඕනෙ තමයි. ඒත් අවුරුදු ගානක් තිස්සෙ මුලු පළාතක් හොල්ලගෙන හිතපු රූස්ස ගහක් කපන්නෙ නැතුව ඒක කරන්න විදිහක් තිබුනෙම නැද්ද කියල හිතෙනවා.හ්ම්ම්
වෙනස් නොවී තියෙන දේවල්  වලින් එකක් තමයි,  Anterior බූක් ශොප් එක.ෆොටෝ කොපි ගහන ගෑණු ලමයි කාලෙන් කාලෙට මූනු මාරු කළාට, ලලිතා අක්ක හැමදාමත් පරණ පුරුදු විදිහමයි.ඉතින් පරණ කාලෙ මතක් වෙලා පාලු හිතුනම මම දැන්  ලලිතා අක්කව බලන්න යනවා. ෆැකල්ටි එක දැන් ඉස්සර වගේ නෙවේ  කියල අක්ක කියනවා හිනා වෙවි අහගෙන ඉඳලා එනවා. හැමදෙයක්ම, (මම පවා) වෙනස් වෙදිදී ෆැකල්ටි එක විතරක් එකම විදිහට ඉඳියි කියලා බලාපොරොත්තු වෙන එකත් අසාධාරණද මන්දා.ඒත් මම දන්න පේරාදෙනිය, කොල පාට background එකක, හිනා පිරිච්ච, එකෙක් වැටුනම අත දෙන්න දහ පහළොස් දෙනෙක් නොවරදින ලස්සන තැනක්. මොනවා වෙනස් වුනත් ඒ දේවල් එහෙම්මම ඉතුරු වෙනවනම් තව අවුරුදු ගානකින් ආයෙත් මේ පැත්තෙ ආවොත් මට පේරාදෙනියෙ පුරුදු සුවඳ ඉතුරු වෙලා තියේවි  .

Heaven on Earth

Fingers entwined as was their destiny
Hearts beating  in unison, beating to the rhythm  of love
Lost forever in your soul melting gaze
I am finally home  dearest
In your arms
Heaven  has reached  My earth 

Everything and a Little bit more

I look in to those eyes and the world stops spinning.
Our fingers get entangled just like our souls, so comfortably as if that is what they have been doing for many life times
I loose myself in your eyes, in your voice , in your touch and the rest of the world just fades away leaving only us wrapped in a cloud of happiness .
My feet glide over the earth and  my heart is soaring up above the clear blue sky.
There is nothing that matters but us and suddenly I am  lost without words to describe this happiness that keeps on brimming the shores of my heart.
Life is perfect
Simple little things make  my day
Like the way you laugh, the way you look at me ,the way you embrace me protectively and the  smile on you face when........and so on and on.
Time halts when you are away, and fly faster than light when you are by my side  
What did I do to deserve this happiness?
There is one wish, only one.
Let me keep that light in your eyes and that smile on your face forever and ever

Why It is Not Enough?

Because every time I hear his voice, I want goose bumps on my neck,

Every time he holds my hand in his, I should  feel as if he is holding not only my hand, but my his whole life,protected  from  the whole wide world out there.

Every time when the world let me downs, because I don’t belong  in the normal group I want his word to soothe off my pain, to tell me it is not a crime to be different, that I am OK in my nutty way.

Every time I get this crazy urges to dance in the rain, lie down  on my roof and gaze at the moon, or completely lose myself in the midst of a sea of evergreen trees I want someone who will not just join me CZ he has to, but becoz he enjoys  the crazy stuff as much as I do.

Every time , he looks at me I want to see through his eyes what my dad sees, his own little princess( though I can be categorised nowhere near small nor a princess)

Because every time even when I think of him, time should stop momentarily, the world stop spinning and I would be flying without wings.

Because more than anything  every time I see him, it should be like the very first day, even when I am in my seventies and he is down in a wheel chair, I still should be able to fall in love with him all over again, because we were destined to be together, it was written in the stars, way before  this question even thought of appearing in my life

මනාලිය

වසා උවනත ළප කැළැල්
රෝස පැහැ ගන්වා දෙකොපුල්
මවා නිල් පැහැයට හීනි දිගැස්
පින්තාරු කර දුන් මනාලිය
නුඹ
ජය මඟුල් ගී හඬ මැද
පිපෙයි මඳහස් නෙතු අඟ
සායම් බිඳකුත් නැතත්
නුඹයි සිත්තම මා වසඟ කළ
සදහටම