අ )හේතුව

සක්වල ගල පීරල හොයලත් 
හමු නොවි හති වැටී හුන් විට
තමි වැටහුනේ මට
මන් තනිවෙන්න හේතුව 
වෙනින් මොකවත්ම නෙමෙයි 
අහේතුව බව

Choices

Yesterday, I came to my room during my lunch hour and all of a sudden it came to me that we are the result of a bundle of choices.Choices made by people  we know, choices of people we  don't know ,choices made by us, choices we are yet to make. Cannot fate be called a choice made by someone somewhere?It reminds me of a scene from a film,the name of which I have of course forgotten as usual,where one simple choice leads to a cascade of events culminating in a death of another completely unknown person.Of course choices made by others  is a bit difficult to meddle with but mostly our life is an outcome of our own choices. Its is  indeed like a huge game of gambling.The right choice made at the correct moment in your life can make you the greatest achiever while the wrong choice may not spare you any breath even to realize that you have indeed made it wrong.
In such times I guess one would really appreciate if there was someone else to make your choices.It is easy , no need to pull out what is left of your hair( if you have any left after the previous narrow escapes) and if things go wrong, hey it is not your fault. But then would that be your life then.Your will just be a puppet I guess, a mere actor in someone else's script. For life to be trully enjoyed you should be the owner of that script of  life You need to have the strength  not only to make the right choices but also to pick up the remnants to build  up your life again when the wrong choices shattersit . Easier said than done.Yet, what is the point of happiness if you don't have to sweat for it

Birds of feathers

Got up this morning totally confused.The first thing I could here was the usual morning orchestra outside my window conducted by a set of tiny birdies who have probably taken in to their mind that it is their duty to act as my alarm clock( which was extremely reliable not to wake me up until it was extremely late).So, the moment I hear the melodies of the outer world my heart rate shoots up(most probably so does my blood pressure) and a I search like a lunatic beneath the crumpled sheets and scattered pillows for my phone-fail to locate it and become more tachycardic- but finally grab it from under the bed and  peek through still 99% asleep eyelids to discover its 6.30am.The remnants of last night's sleep leave me in swift seconds as my body automatically catapults itself  out of the bed and my legs act on their own to lead me to the bathroom .And then it hits me! It's my off weekend.I tumble back on to the bed, cover my self up and sandwich my head between two pillows so that the birdies will not succeed a second time and try to calm down myself to another peaceful hour of sleep.
       

Most of the time relationships are shattered by misunderstandings.We tend to expect the exact same contribution that we are providing from the rest of the world.But the problems is people are different.The capacity to work of one person is never the same of another and  the same goes for memory.While it is good to  motivate someone to become more efficient and maximize his or her out put there is also the risk of the person getting exhausted and disheartened if he or she has already reached the maximum level  that they are capable of achieving.Although  those who do not work and find excuses for escaping from all the responsibilities should  not find this as an escape-goat,I think it is worthwhile having a closer look if someone is repeatedly lagging behind.If they are trying their best to please you ,but are unable to reach you standards it itself is  enough agony than you constantly reprimanding them to provide better results.

Short notes

Here, I am fretting over few hours of lost sleep, while out there in the wide universe there are real people having real problems.There is Mrs Indrawathi, who has heart failure and diabetes plus a nasty wound in her leg.Yet every morning she never failed to bestow upon me the sweetest smile and  never ever complained even when she  was kept fasting for long stretches for her frequent wound toilet. While I am grumbling about my worries she takes her life one day at a time and manages to be  contended with what she has.and there is Mrs Poornam, whom we diagnosed to have a carcinoma in the biliary tract and needs a major surgery. She is begging me to send her home,to have some time with her small ones before coming back for the surgery.It is not her life she is worried about but about leaving her beloved young ones.That's how bad problems of real life are and its amazing how people find courage to deal with the heartaches in their path of life.These are the real heroes and heroines in our world.

Late night musings- by a confused intern?

Its almost 11 pm.about two months back I wouldn't even dream of sleeping at this hour.Yet things have changed dramatically and right now i should be cocooned in my bed(If you can call this rock hard thing a bed) without wasting my precious hours of sleep. It is now I realise that time is the utmost important factor in one's life.I would gladly give up any monetary wealth just to have few hours of blissful sleep.But, since that is a rare privilege, I guess I have to be satisfied with the little amount of sleep I can grab.One of my seniors asked what i wanted in life if not doing medicine.when I come to think of it what I would want to do more than anything is to write, write and write.Now that life has become so hectic I do not know whether I can write as often as I did before. But I am definitely going to try.Because some people live on their dreams;I am definitely one of them and this is my dream